Dear oh dear boys, would somebody please give Blaise and his chums 100 lines and give him a detention after evening tiffin in the school cathedral.
I must not copy other people’s work
I must not copy other people’s work
I must not copy other people’s work
Platform seems to be total London-centric poshos playing at magazines, they got bored with their All Ages toy so Daddy bought them a magazine. We’d love to be proved wrong but there’s little about their publication to persuade us.
They do have a social responsibility if they aim themselves at young people - but, guess what, they’d love to get a bit of noteriety by being controversial. Well, to (mis)quote the Life of Brian ‘they’re not controversial, they’re very naughty boys’
Quotes like:
‘Remember how easy it was to get laid when you were 16’ - You absolute silver spoon dining goons - they love Skins so much they think they live it. This kind of comment is right for their friends who borrow Mum and Dad’s ski chalet in Verbier and are allowed to smoke skunk in the shed at weekends if they’ve done all their homework. But they can get lost if they think it’s real. And as for ‘if you’re lucky enough to still be a teenager, I recommend you have as much awkward, uninhibited, shameful sex as possible’
If magazines put pressure on people to be size zero wtf is this doing - Teenagers begin at 13 if they didn’t know, teen pregnancies are the highest in Europe and please tell me what constitutes ‘shameful sex’ and let’s hope it’s as interesting as ‘shameful plagiarism’ which is their other favourite hobby - rather than putting their bollocks in a vice which is what is needed - they’ve put their utter bollocks in a shoddy Vice substitute - The one big difference is that Vice is free and they are trying to sell theirs! What a crazy fucked up world we live in.
None of the people who write are who they seem to be, they are just trying to look cool by making everyone else feel they are lagging behind - like the Emperor’s new clothes (if the Emperor shopped at American Apparel)
Blaise Belleville is the Nathan Barley poster boy for the Skins generation and I imagine he trots round to his Soho postbox (I’m guessing that’s what the Denmark St address is - but more naive people might presume they have an office) to meet young Mr. Twomey-Brenner (that’s his real name and one of the others is called Freddie), the intern (perlease!) for sushi while claiming he’s just discovered a band who are ‘well Mexico’ - it’s reassuring that are as distant from us geographically, as they are from reality with their magazine - since bullying got stamped out these people have flourished. I say we all get together after double Latin in the library annexe and flush their heads down the toilet. Ra! fucking Ra!
If you’re mimicry of Vice is as much as we think, we expect to read this on the letters page.
Andy Clapper
